Sunday, February 7, 2016

Football Terminology for Gardeners


In honor of today's sports activities, I thought I'd dust off this 
little piece I wrote to make watching the Superbowl a little more
 fun for those of us who play in the dirt in a different manner!
Enjoy!
Football Terminology for Gardeners
                                 By: Marcy Dailey                
February 2009
WIDE END – What the neighbors view when we’re weeding in the springtime
TIGHT END- What we’re sporting by the end of the season after all that stooping
TACKLE- Pruning the shrub roses
FIRST DOWN- Un-hooped peonies in a rainstorm
TOUCHDOWN- To get to the “root” of  it!
OUT OF BOUNDS- Mint- enough said!
HALFTIME- Halftime we can’t remember what we were going to do before we got distracted!
SAFETY- mosquito repellant, sunscreen, gloves, & a wide-brimmed hat
PERSONAL FOUL- When the deodorant gives out around mid-day in August
FIELD GOAL- To convert the soybeans to all native prairie plants
WIDE RECEIVER- The orifice on a good chipper/shredder
FLAG- A variety of Iris
PASS- What organic gardeners do with chemicals
PENALTY- Not having grocery money after spending it all on new plants
WINNING SEASON – 1” of rain per week, moderate temperatures, enough good bugs to counter the bad bugs, wildlife that remains in the wild, and ample money and time to devote to gardening.